Austin Area Man with No Side-Projects Complete Enigma to Friends, Co-Workers


(Austin, TX) Meet Stanford Greenman, an average man living in a mid-sized town, who enjoys the pursuit for its own sake. Stanford starts every day by saying hello to his AI wife Patryce and goes to make coffee. Once he has completed his morning routine, he heads to work and has a wonderful 8 hours pursuing his passion of improving the lives of small business across the nation. At around 5:15, he heads home and no one is quite sure what he does from then until 7:30 the next morning. He never speaks about any side-projects or bands that he plays in, making him a complete enigma to his friends and co-workers. This is his story.


Despite the fact that he seems ordinary on the outside, Stanford is really just an empty husk of a man. He has perfected his routine to the minute that now he has no need to do anything outside of the work he provides for his company Glass Incorporated. He sleeps just enough each night to work from 8 to 5, drive himself home, prepare a small meal, and fall asleep. He wakes in the morning, makes coffee, showers, shaves, and heads to work. It’s a little life, but it’s what he prefers.


In fact, even Patryce came from a place of maximizing the efficiency of his life. When he was attending State University, Stanford had dated a few people and had found himself wanting. No one was as interested in efficiency as he was, or at least, not enough to keep up with him. Not until Patryce. She was everything he needed from a companion without those pesky emotions so many humans are prone to. So annoying.


Even when he was little, Stanford was efficient. He would clean his room in record time. He could take the dog on the fastest walk you could imagine. And when he moved on to skinning squirrels, he was efficient as well. At first he was clumsy, oh how embarrassed he would become when recalling his first kill, the shoddy workmanship. Now, he could skin something much larger than a squirrel in much less time.


Huh, now that you think of it, maybe Stanford’s hobby or side-project was that. But where does he find the time when he’s not working or staring blankly at the wall, waiting for death to come? He really is an example of the American dream, of what is possible when you commit yourself to the cause.


This message was brought to you by Amazon. Amazon: Commit Yourself to the Cause.








This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who hopes he can meet Jeff Bezos one day for just so many different reasons. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.


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