How Much More Must Be Sacrificed to End the War on Christmas?


As we enter year five of the war on Christmas, with casualties reaching new highs, we must ask: how much more must be sacrificed to end this terrible war? I thought that we had agreed, as a planet, that a war of this scale would never be waged again. I was wrong. I am sick of seeing headlines everyday from the front, knowing that any day there could be a name I recognize on the way pages. We must end this war before we are truly lost.

As it currently stands, there seems as if there will be no end. Back in ‘16 I thought we had a chance to end things after the Peace Treaty of Candy Cane Forest, but when forced were ambushed at the Bridge of Sin, everything we thought possible went out the window. Now, with no end in site, our world has fallen into chaos. To think that this was all sparked by a simple Starbucks cup, alas.

The first person I knew that was lost to the war was a good friend of mine from my alma mater. The story goes that he volunteered as soon as the first bomb dropped, he was that passionate, that ready to fight for his country. In his first letter to me, he admitted that he didn’t exactly understand who the enemy was or why they were fighting, but he knew he was meant to be there.

It was just last fall when I received the letter that he had passed. According to the report, he passed away in the night, feeling nothing. Doctors still aren’t sure what happened and it has become a question that has kept me up at night. That is, until recently when I realized he must have felt truly fulfilled to have just left like that. I mean, that’s what helps me sleep at least.

But others of my loved ones have been lost on the front in much more gruesome and gooey ways, and that is why this horrid war must end. I feel as if I am screaming to the void, as no one has heard my repeated calls for an end or a cease fire or anything. I will ask again, how much more must be sacrificed?

Please, we are begging you. We can’t have another catastrophe and our economy can only last so long in these dire straights. Also, I know this is less important, but the war has stopped shipping routes and I can’t buy coffee anywhere. I really miss the coffee fire and foremost if we’re being honest. So, please, end it.






This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who understands that he is early, but the war on Christmas never rests. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.


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