Guys, I wish I was kidding. I really wish I was. But this is like … not that far off base of what I’m currently dealing with.

 

Option 1. About the landlord(s): We’re a fun-loving, outdoorsy family with two little ones and a dog!

Location: Dublin 82 (Just a quick 2-and-a-half-hour bus to City Center!)

Room description: There’s a small window that should keep your room from getting too warm in the summer! One outlet in the ceiling. Bed is just an old box-spring on the floor. Not a box-spring mattress, just a box-spring.

Amenities: We’ve got a kitchen that you’re allowed to use the microwave in!

Rent: 600 euro a month, utilities not included.

 

Option 2. About the landlord(s): I’m a single guy of a certain age, looking exclusively for young, female tenants. Professional photographer.

Location: 45 minutes north of Howth by car.

Room description: Cozy, but with no lock on the door. For your own safety, of course.

Amenities: One shared bathroom with landlord and other tenants.

Rent: 200 euro a week, negotiable.

 

Option 3. About the landlord(s): Middle-aged couple. Carl’s a banker, I’m a stay-at-home. No kids, no pets.

Location: Top of College Green, right above the shops! Prime location for students.

Room description: Have you read any of the Harry Potter books? Think the cupboard under the stairs.

Amenities: Shared bathroom, kitchen. No laundry available.

Rent: 3,000 euro a month. Utilities included.

 

Option 4. About the landlord(s): I’m actually in Vienna right now on business, so you won’t see me much. But if you decide to take the room, you can bank transfer me the first three months rent and the current tenant will pass on their key to you! Also, cannot set up a viewing. Because, you know, I’m out of the country. On business. Not a scam. At all. Just send me your money, okay? Then we’ll get this show on the road.

Location: Near Temple Bar!

Room description: One double bed, a nice window, and a closet.

Amenities: Full!

Rent: 550 euro a month, utilities included.

 

Option 5. About the landlord(s): I’m a single woman in my sixties, enjoy knitting, gardening, and mixing drinks.

Location: South of Leopardstown

Room description: Single bed, desk, no window, but there is a fan and a lamp!

Amenities: You’re more than welcome to use the kitchen and laundry, but I’m afraid you cannot stay in the house Friday night-Saturday night. The reason is unimportant and frankly not much of your concern, as you won’t be here.

Rent: 300 euro a week, utilities included.

 

So, which one do you think you’re going to go with?

 

 

 

 

This was written by Maggie McAlister, who is desperately seeking accommodation in Dublin for the upcoming year. If you see something, let her know on Twitter @MadMaggs21.