Can You Tell Us if These Two White Dudes are The Chainsmokers, Founded a Startup, Just Got Married, or All of the Above?


Excuse us, do you have a minute to help us out with something? You see, we discovered this picture the other day and instantly knew we had to write something about it. Unfortunately, we completely spaced on the context for this photo, which is why we need your help. So, from the deepest depths of our heart, we ask you: can you tell us if these two white dudes are The Chainsmokers, founded a successful startup, just got married, or all of the above? It’s probably one of these, so any help in this matter would be appreciate.


What’s that? You need more background? Ok, here it goes.


So, I first discovered this picture back when I was just five years old. It was the day after Thanksgiving and I was playing with a new toy I had received as a gift from the Big Turkey. I accidentally dropped the toy and it fell under the couch in my living room. When I went to retrieve the toy, I found this picture staring back at me. As I went to look closer, it slowly faded out of existence, leaving me feeling empty. The next time I would see this photo was ten years later.


This time, I was walking down the street, chewing bubble gum and doing the grungy 15 year old thing. You know. As I was just about to spray paint my dope tag on a wall near the CVS, the picture blew from off the street and straight into my face. I grabbed it to take a closer look and was stunned to find the same picture of these two men staring back at me. Just as I was about to exclaim in absolute terror, the picture blew away and almost immediately left my mind as quickly as it had entered it.


For years, I had lived my life in a comfortable bliss, all but forgetting about this haunting image. It wasn’t until this morning when I was doing some laundry that I found the picture in the wash. Maybe it had been with me all this time, maybe it had been brought back to me from the void. Either way, I found it staring me in the face, but this time I wasn’t going to let it go. I was going to figure out what was going on.


Looking at this image, I know if I knew exactly what I was looking at, I could finally crack the code, the mystery. So, please, if you know if these men are The Chainsmokers or are married or founded a startup or something, let me know. I really just need to know what this picture means and why it keeps haunting me.


Please. Pleeeeeaaaaase.






This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who loves everything except Black Friday, except for the capitalism. Oh, wait. Follow him @NPEllwood for more nonsense.

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