(Minneapolis, MN) I don’t know about you, but for my entire life I have been filled with a seemingly unlimited rage. I’m not sure where this comes from, but at this point I don’t really question it. Unfortunately, until recently I didn’t have a good outlet for this anger that was pent up inside of me, causing it to emerge in strange and sometimes problematic ways. Birthday parties have been ruined is all that I am saying. So, if you struggle with this like me, you need to understand that there is something out there for people like us, somewhere we can let it all out. It’s cycling and it changed my life.
You see, cycling is perfect because it both fuels and gets rid of my hatred. Let me start at the beginning. It was Christmas 2006 and I had just turned 24. My father had un-invited me from his annual get together and my mom was off in Prague with Frank. Rather than go out with friends like I no doubt should have, I got super drunk by myself at a bar down the street and decided to walk home. Not only did I wake up on a park bench the next morning almost frozen solid, I had drunkenly ordered a top of the line bicycle to be shipped to my house. No returns allowed.
Next thing you know, I’m a cyclist! Over the next 12 years, what started as a small hobby on the weekends turned into my entire personality. Now, my rage can be expressed through competitive transportation for 3 hours a day, 7 days per week. I yell at cars and no one hears me. It’s absolute bliss.
Seriously y’all, you need to trust me on this. I know that it’s easy to be angry and just live your life pushing that feeling down deeper inside you. I know how good it feels to let it build up until it explodes. But trust me, you can do all of that and more while riding a dope 16 speeder down your local avenue. Your rage increases with every car that doesn’t see you and just as you are about to climb the hill you get honked at by someone, giving you the boost you need to make it up.
Plus, I have awesome metabolism now. Definitely a nice little side benefit to getting angrier, I’m also getting much stronger. Don’t think about it too much.
This was written by Nathan Ellwood, who didn’t learn how to ride a bike until last week. What a trip. Follow him @NPEllwood.