(Hollywood, CA) On Tuesday morning, Hereditary director and nightmare creator Ari Aster released the teaser trailer for his upcoming film, Midsommar. Just minutes after the video was up for public access, film critics and commentators across the internet were already coming up with theories about what this film will be about and more importantly, what effect it will have on our culture. However, before too much conjecture could be made, the studio behind the film (A24) released a statement hoping to quell suspicions until the film’s upcoming summer release. “Despite what you might have heard, we would like to officially state that yes, Midsommar will be replacing all movies this July.”

Now, I don’t want to tell A24 how to run their company, but issuing a statement like this without the proper context will undoubtedly cause more discussion and suspicion about the film than before. OK, no wait, I’m getting it now. Well done. You got me this time, corporation. Sorry, back to the story.

The press release continued, “After The Academy forgot that Hereditary was the only movie made in 2018, Aster is taking extreme and justifiable measures to seal his place in film history.” According to a representative of the company, they mean this entirely literally and plan to somehow either delete or replace all films with Midsommar after it is released this August.

Aster is no stranger to viral marketing like this. Last year, Hereditary had a very successful marketing campaign when, on June 7th, everyone discovered that the only sound they could make was that tongue clicking sound. “Last year I took your voices,” Aster teased, “and this year I’m taking your movies. You would do well to give me what I want.”

And what exactly does Aster want? Why, only what all filmmakers dream of, an Oscar of course. Which, given that he is replacing every movie ever made with his own, should make him a shoe-in for best picture (and all future awards, for that matter). When asked how this would affect the movie industry as a whole, another A24 representative explained that it is all part of their Strategic Plan and that we “probably wouldn’t get it.” This, unsurprisingly, is true. We don’t get it.

But who are we to stand in the way of an artist’s vision? I guess our advice would be the same as that of the famed director we all must now call Supreme Leader: “Watch all the movies you can before August, for it will be the last time they will ever be seen.” Wow. Chills.

This was written by Nathan Ellwood, who hopes you remember the motto: The Future is Horror. Follow him @NPEllwood if you want to.