Everything College Freshman Knows About Politics Learned in YouTube’s Comment Section

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(New Haven. CT) After countless hours of hard work and dedication from Anthony Brown’s parents, the local freshman was ready to have the All American College Experience™ he had always dreamed of. He had already enjoyed a wild orientation where he was introduced to the culture of the campus and even attended his first college party. It was just like the movies. In fact, at one point he was so caught up in the excitement that for a moment he forgot he wasn’t in a college romp film and said to himself “I think I’m going to like college.” It wasn’t until his first lecture at 8:00 am on Monday morning that a dose of reality hit Anthony like a ton of bricks.

 

As a white man with anything on his horizon, Brown had decided to pursue a pre-law bachelor’s degree in political science. According to his transcript, he had taken enough AP classes to come in as sophomore by credit hours and was co-chair of his “Lawyers for Others” team. With such beaming prerequisites, his advisor had decided to put him in Political Science 101, assuming the course would be a breeze. Unfortunately, everything Anthony knew about politics had been learned in the YouTube comment’s section, leading to a severe, steep learning curve.

 

This quickly became obvious when the professor entered the room and opened the floor to the class for questions about the nature of politics. Right away, Anthony’s hand shot up and when he was called on, he gleefully shouted the only logical response in his brain. “First!”

 

Taken aback by this odd outburst, the professor tried to regain their composure and asked, “I’m sorry, did you have a question?”

 

Anthony had been so gung-ho about being the first into the discussion that he didn’t even register what they had said. “Oh, no, I’m sorry. I just wanted to be the first one to talk.”

 

“Okay… Moving on. Would anyone else like to try?” Chuckles were heard around the auditorium and for the first time in his life, Anthony experienced something he had only ever heard stories of: embarrassment.

 

Over the next week of classes, Anthony realized that he had grossly underestimated the collegiate experience and that it was possible he wouldn’t be able to glide through on his father’s friendships. However, just because he had never been challenged in his life didn’t mean he wasn’t up for such a challenge. If someone was going to get away with blowing off college, it would be him.

 

Why tell this story? Well, according to a recent nomination from the Trump Administration, Anthony Brown might be your next Supreme Court Justice. More on this, soon.

 

 

 

 

 

This was written by Nathan Ellwood, who got into college the old-fashioned way: confusing the admissions counselor by being homeschooled. Follow him @NPEllwood.

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