Republican Lawmakers Claim Green New Deal Would Lead to Uptick in People Dying While Tied to Railroad Tracks

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(Washington, D.C.) After a hectic weekend of scrambling to try and read the Mueller report, Republican lawmakers are attempting to draw attention from the President’s woes by pointing their finger in another direction. But who are they going after this time? Hillary? No, almost overdone if you ask me. Warren? No, she’s still got a whole campaign ahead of her, plenty of time for that. AOC? You bet! No one better to tease than one of the few people in congress actually working for her constituents. However, they might have overplayed their hand with this last attempt to discredit AOC’s Green New Deal by claiming it would result in a sharp uptick in people dying while being tied to railroad tracks. More on this below.

 

First, we need a little bit of background for those of us who can’t keep our eye on Twitter all day to see what new shenanigans the folks over in D.C. have come up with. Personally, I can’t look away, it’s like witnessing a car crash, only I am in the car and watching simultaneously, so they asked me to write about this. In short, the Green New Deal is a proposed economic stimulus program that aims to address climate change and income equality.

 

Ever since the resolution was first announced by AOC and Senator Ed Markey in early February, Republicans have been throwing everything they possibly can at this program to make sure it never leaves the imaginations of the populace. They have called it “imaginary,” “a big dump on America’s chest,” and one lawmaker even went so far as to say it was “the worst thing since sliced bread.” Apparently, this lawmaker is not a fan of sliced bread and all of the attention it has been getting. (It was Marco Rubio).

 

Now, lawmakers have asserted the preposterous claim that more people will die every year from being tied to railroad tracks if this Green New Deal were to be passed. Here is a short snippet from Mitch McConnell’s statement on the matter:

 

“We live in a great country, this United States of America, and one of the things that has made us great is that we no longer live in fear of the infamous robber barons that once plagued our countrysides, causing a ruckus and tying our damsels to railroad tracks. I will not go back to that time. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez wants to give our women and children back to the robber barons, but I won’t have it. Do you even realize how much more opportunity they would have for causing these accidents if we got rid of our cars and switched over to trains for everything? Shame on you. Shame. On. You.”

 

It was said that after this brief statement, McConnell retreated to his office for a nice, crunchy leaf of lettuce. We tried to reach AOC for a response, but she told us she has better things to do than explain that climate change is a far more pressing issue than robber barons. Although, she did want to point out that industrialists like the ones feared by Republicans are the reason we are in this mess in the first place, but that’s another story.

 

 

 

 

This was written by Nathan Ellwood, who would just worm his way to safety if he ever got into trouble with any sort of railroad track scenario. Follow him @NPEllwood.

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