As a kid growing up, I never enjoyed math problems and if we’re being honest, I actively avoided it by whatever means necessary. I just couldn’t work out what all those numbers meant and it lead to a lot of frustration. That is, until they introduced word problems. Unlike normie math, word problems felt more like a puzzle to solve than a problem with a solution. Now, here with you, I realize that my entire life was leading up to this point and word problems were a large part of that. So, tell me, if one train is traveling East and another is traveling west, how soon will we be sent back to the real world from the dream world we created together?

Can you tell me that, Mal? No, you can’t. Once again, I have to do everything in this relationship. I guess I’ll solve this word problem and finally figure this out once and for all.

OK, so we know the train heading East left the station we designed at 2:45 and the area of the track we are on right now is like 30 miles from that. We also know that the other station we designed is like 40 miles away, but the Westbound train is much faster than the Eastbound one. Meaning that they should both reach us around the same time, but not the same time exactly. Is this useful? Let’s look further.

According to our experiments, in our dream world, theories such as gravity and relativity function a little bit differently. Don’t ask me why the dream world works this way, but it does. This means that, hopefully, both trains will arrive at the exact same time, making the transition back into the real world easier, as we will both experience it together, simultaneously.

I don’t know about you, but I am pretty excited to get back to the world of reality, rather than this one. I mean it was fun at first, the way Minecraft is when you play in Creative Mode, but it also got old pretty quickly. I want to be with our kids again. I want to make mistakes. I want to interact with a barista, that is what I want.

Oh shit, the train is coming. Mal, listen to me, don’t forget this conversation when we wake up. I need you to remember tha-

This was interpreted by Nathan Ellwood, I’m not exactly sure from whom. Follow him @NPEllwood.