(Las Vegas, NV) Finally, what we have all been waiting and biding our time for. WeWork has announced this week that they are officially opening their first vape-friendly work share office space after (apparently) widespread outrage over having no safe space for people to both vape and work. “We are listening to what the customers want,” explained WeWork CEO Adam Neumann (with two Ns). “And the customers want a sweet place to hang and blow some fat Os. We are running a pilot program of WeVape in Nevada and we couldn’t be more excited about the feedback we have received so far.” While it’s still anyone’s guess whether or not this will be a success, no one can deny that they are doing it.
We caught up with a few early-joiners at the Las Vegas location to hear what brought them to sign up for a WeVape membership and we were not disappointed.
Hurley, 24. “I have never been so psyched about anything in my life, well except for the season 4 premiere of Ricky & Morty, duh. I just hated how everyone at my last job judged me for trying to vape at my desk. What, you don’t like the smell of bubblegum as it is blown in your face for 8 straight hours? I find that hard to believe. The people at WeVape don’t judge me and we blow huge plumes all day. It is, to borrow the colloquialism, litty.”
Jordin, 32. “At first, I wasn’t convinced WeVape was for me because I have never wanted to let my vaping define me. I used to smoke and while some vape because they enjoy it, I do it out of necessity. I need to be hitting my Juul every twelve seconds or else my mind literally blue screens and I have to start my day all over. I do not have time for anything but WeVape anymore, so I honestly think they should be everywhere. Maybe Portland next, I could do for a rainier climate.”
Travis, 28. “I’m getting a WeVape tattoo, STAT. This place is my heaven.”
Seth, 45. “People don’t really understand older vapers, so I see myself as kind of a rare breed. I tell the kids old stories about the old days when I used to vape out of an old shoebox with my step-dad, but they just politely asked me to stop yelling at them while they are getting coffee, so I guess I’ll just have to Slack it to them. What a bunch of Slackrs.”
Ilana, 18. “I just came here straight from high school and I’ve already made thousands managing large brands’ social media pages. Just kidding, that’s a myth companies use to make you believe their funny memes and relatable content aren’t put together by a team of people hired to manipulate you. I actually just trade Bitcoins and post on Instagram.”
Final results: Inconclusive.
This article was written by Nathan Ellwood who ate the last frog leg, sorry. Follow him @NPEllwood.