This is a story of a changed mind and a changed heart. Last week, I went back to the peat bog I once called home in order to see my younger sibling graduation from high school. Having been out of high school for centuries, I personally haven’t had the chance to sit in on a commencement address in forever and let me tell you, a lot has changed. Kids are taking selfies as they get their diploma, theirs snacks for sale like its a baseball game, and families are even now going so far as to boo all students other than their precious son or daughter. However, I’m not here to talk about any of them. No, I’m here to talk about the guy with the air horn.

Like I said at the beginning, this story is about change. In this spirit, let’s begin with the first state I found myself in and then explain how that state transformed into who I am now, writing this for you.

I’ll admit first of all that I wasn’t terribly excited to be back home in the peat bog. I had left this place on bad terms and had even gone so far as to vow never to return. This was foolish, of course, as most of my family still resides there and I don’t intend on missing out on Aunt Janette’s 4th of July hot dogs anytime soon.

So it was for family that I found myself in a large auditorium watching former high schoolers begin their actual lives. We were about 5 kids in when I first heard the noise. BWAMP. It caught me so off guard, I forgot for a second that air horns were even a thing. My next thought was simply, “Bold choice,” followed by “Hopefully that’s over now.”

Oh how wrong I was. The guy with the air horn continued to BWAMP until the ceremony was over. And while I tried so hard to hate him, to feel disdain toward this man, I couldn’t. He was absolutely killing it. I can’t even explain it, looking back, but it was like he kept finding the exact right time to BWAMP his horn, spreading joy throughout the entire crowd.

After the ceremony was over, I tried to track down this legend of the Will Smith auditorium, but I quickly lost him in the sea of bodies. I just wanted to tell him what he meant to me, how he had taken something so simple and absolutely killed it, making me believe in a kind, more caring world.

This is a story of a changed mind and a changed heart. If you’re reading this air horn guy, I hope you know how much you mean to me.

This was written by Nathan Ellwood, who wants you to think of a number. Yep, that one. Whoops, now its on your forehead. Shouldn’t have thought about it so hard ya dingus. By this point you should know where to follow him.