Shoes For a Sensitive Man


In our day to day lives we all have situations that we experience where we find true joy. Whether it is just making the bus on time or bending a bullet around a corner like in the hit movie Wanted, we find ways to scrape out the marrow of life for all that it’s worth. For some men, this joy can be found in a fascinating way that we wanted to explore further. Apparently, there is a certain shoe that sensitive men around the globe have flocked to as a way to flaunt their style and tell the world who they truly are. We interviewed a few of them today in order to explain this intriguing display of masculinity.


The following men were asked, “What has making the switch to Chelsea boots done to better your life?”


Devin, 25 – Columbus, OH. The first time I saw those shoes at the mall, I knew that I had to have them. I’m not sure if it was the faux leather that caught my eye or the taupe color pattern, but I was transfixed. I now own 47 pairs, they all look identical.


Clarp, 34 – Dallas, TX. I remember it like it was yesterday because that is when this event occurred. I was reading some poetry at the Northpark Mall and looked across the aisle at the most beautiful shoes I had ever seen. I went into school today looking so fresh, I can’t wait to buy another pair to wear next week. It’s just too bad that you can’t wear a pair of shoes more than once, but that’s just life I suppose.


Vega, 19 – Hartford, CT. I was born wearing Chelsea boots and I will die wearing Chelsea boots, the way my father did, and his father before him.


Ashish, 29 – Seattle, WA. New to the sneaker game, but I am in love with these Chelseas. Not only are they uncomfortable, but they are bizarre looking and make my feet look like they are coming out of the carpet. I love em! Highly recommend.


Barnard, 57 – Boise, ID. My kids saw that I was wearing these shoes on my Instagram and now they are talking to me again. Talk about miracle workers.


Charles, 42 – Little Rock, AZ. I am a sensitive man and I need sensitive shoes to convey that to the people around me in my life. Why are you trying to make this into a whole thing?


Because that’s how we pay the bills, baby!





This was written by a ghoul trapped in the shell of existence.


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