Hey what’s up y’all, my name is Trevor but I insist you call me Trev. As you can see from my photo above, I’m a pretty excitable guy. It can get me into trouble if we’re being honest, but I don’t let that get me down. I’m here for a good time not a long time, right? Well before I get caught up talking about me, I have something else important to talk about: myself. You see, over the last few years, I have come to collect an alarming amount of taco-related t-shirts. So much so in fact, that I often find myself literally drowning in these novelty items. This, is my story.

Let’s go back to the beginning. My mom plopped me out in ’98 and life’s been a trip ever since. Like I mentioned, my name is Trev and I am a cool guy that you can trust. I’ve never been too drunk to admit I wouldn’t be able to drive and I’ve never been implicated in a crime more serious than lite loitering. This is just laying the groundwork for you to understand me as a person before I delve into this somewhat startling obsession I have discovered that I have for taco-themed memorabilia.

I first started to realize that I had a problem when I would be scrolling through Facebook, minding my own business, and I would come across an ad for a shirt with the word taco in it and I would immediately black out. It didn’t matter the messaging, it didn’t matter if it was using the word taco as an innuendo, I was on board immediately. I would wake up the next morning having ordered the shirt without even noticing.

But of course, like most online shopping transactions, the regret would come. Or I would straight up forget about what I had done, only to discover a package on my front door the following morning with my name on it and a shirt stating “Tacos are my love language.” What does that even mean? I could not begin to tell you. But then I would get another targeted Facebook ad and the cycle would start again.

As I am telling this story, I’m starting to feel as if my first purpose when buying these shirts has been lost. I only wanted to communicate that I like tacos, nothing more. How did this become something so large in my life that it has infected my personality? Do people even like me if I’m not wearing a taco shirt? Has this gone too far?

I guess I’ll just have to keep buying taco-related shirts and see what happens. Doesn’t seem like there is any other alternative.

This was written by a man who eats so many tacos he should be arrested.