New Report Finds Helicopter Crashes Disproportionately Affect Famous People

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In the world that we live in, so full of chaos and disaster, it can be hard to find solace any longer in cold hard facts. Despite that, many data scientists and researchers are hard at work, day in and day out, compiling new studies for us to oogle and ogle at. Today, they have hit us with an absolute game-changer, a stat so obvious and yet so thrilling at the same time. Apparently, according to Lockhart Researcher, helicopter crashes are more likely to kill famous people than any other subgroup. In fact, the disproportionate affect on the rich and famous is so bad that some have called for helicopter recalls and the grounding of all helicopter tours, Ubers, and taxis.

 

Now, is it any surprise that the schmucks rich enough to own a helicopter also die in them more than anyone? I mean, obviously Nic Cage has a helicopter, but does your neighbor Gary? Of course not!

 

According to the study that surveyed over 100 hours of helicopter crash footage to find these results, in over 85% of the videos, the surveyors recognized someone in the helicopter. They couldn’t always say exactly how they knew them, but their celebrity was enough for them to have seen their face in some magazine or another. Can you imagine that? What a hazard. It’s honestly wild that helicopters haven’t been banned already.

 

I mean, could you imagine a world where there was disease or illness that only affected people that we all know, for one reason or another? I feel like we would be well on our way to curing that if this was the case. Rich people wouldn’t let that happen. They control enough to stop that from happening, that’s for sure.

 

But this ultimately goes back to my point that the richer you are, the more dangerously you live and the more risks you take for no good reason. Whether it is helicopters or high altitude planes or spelunking, famous people love to push the limits of what is acceptable. We just shouldn’t have to mourn them when they’re karma explodes in their faces or downs their helicopter. About a million poor people around the world die every day just to make these billionaires their breakfast.

 

So, all we are saying is to be careful around helicopters, especially if you are rich or famous. Double serious if you are both.

 

 

 

 

This was written by Nathan Ellwood, who obviously loves the rich and famous. Why would anyone ever say otherwise? Follow him on Twitter @NPEllwood.

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