Have you ever been walking through your life and started to wonder if you were in a TV show? Things sometimes feel so routine and calculated, they must be from a script, right? Well we’re here to tell you that yes, you’re suspicions are true, you are in a TV show. Unfortunately, it’s not just an TV show, you’re trapped in a dramedy. A clever smushing together of the words drama and comedy, a dramedy will typically feature and snide man and an angry woman, fighting constantly but still having sex on the weekends. If you don’t believe us, which you likely won’t, look for these signs that your reality has been replaced with a scripted episode of golden era television.

1. You have a best friend that you actually hate and are constantly looking to belittle. Sorry, we don’t make the rules. But, if you are living in a dramedy, you gotta get used to this kind of thing. Obviously you will both have a share history that bonds you together through thick and thin, but in terms of personality you are not compatible as work friends, much less “bffs.”

2. Paul Scheer is there. Don’t ask why, he just is.

3. Your boyfriend is so ironic that you can’t tell the difference between sincerity and sarcasm. This is another common ploy of dramedies, the attempt to make us believe that the male comedian writing this show is worthy of the beautiful and far more interesting women they cast to date him. In the real world, these women would simply date each other and the comedian would go back to talking to empty basements.

4. You are constantly going to parties where you get trapped in the same conversations with the same people. Stop saying ‘maybe’ to Keith’s events on Facebook, he’s not a good friend and you know you’re a pushover. Just hit ‘ignore’ like an adult and make up something when he brings it up at the office later. You don’t need this in your life.

5. Every time you think you are out of the thick of it, something even worse happens. As a TV writer, how better to show the human condition than by treating your characters like the biblical figure Job, continuously torturing them until they admit defeat. Too bad for you that this is actually just how life is and there’s no way to avoid it. Sorry!

6. There’s a random person in your life that’s constantly spouting half-baked philosophical quotes that prompt you to think more critically about your life. These friends are great and definitely not a way for writers to move the plot forward. No way. Be sure to spend as much time as possible with them, they will know the key to figuring this whole thing out.

Once you have identified the problem, you can begin to find cracks in your universe. By entering one of these rips in time, you will be able to re-enter your correct temporal space. Godspeed.

This was written by Nathan Ellwood who hopes that more movies get made that are actually good, you know?