So-Called ‘Activist’ Doesn’t Even Have Twitter Account

Activists Demonstrate Against Police Brutality

As another American Election Day comes and goes, we can’t help but all feel a little bit better that out democracy is functioning properly. This is, of course, a lie that we all choose to believe, but the ‘I Voted’ stickers are just too cute to pass up. For those who know far too well how corrupt and unjust our system actually is, this time of year is when they have to do their best to keep a straight face when people talk about change. One of the best ways they are able to spread their message of disdain and plans for a better world is now done online. So today, we caught up with one activist who shockingly doesn’t even have a Twitter account.


“Yeah, I just never got one,” explained the young activist. “I know a lot of my friends use it, but I’m too busy organizing to really get involved in all of that.” As we were talking with her, she was in the process of spray-painting signs for a protest she was leading the following day. She took her time with each sign, pausing often for minutes at a time between answering questions to make sure she was getting it just right.


“This is my passion and I want to make sure we are sending the right message. Sloppy signs look rushed and thrown together. I want people to know that our opinions are thought out and that I will defend them,” she explained. We tried to ask her what her thoughts on the ‘OK Boomer’ meme were, but she had already put her headphones back on.


Looking around her apartment, we notice no stickers for candidates or campaign slogans. There was no PERSIST bumper sticker, no Ruth Bader Ginsburg pins, and no Free Palestine t-shirts to be found. How could this person call themselves an activist? I mean, where was all the merch? Instead, her walls were full of art and posters from concerts she had attended. She had her masters degree on her wall. What a weirdo.


When asked if she would ever get online, she simply told us “Maybe one day when the whole thing is unprivatized and owned by the people, but we both know that’s never going to happen as long as Mark Zuckerberg exists. For now, I prefer to stay in the real world where change is a slow, bitter crawl. But hey, it’s something to do, right?”


We wish her the best of luck, but regret the lack of clout this article will bring us online due to her non-existent presence. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed the article anyway.


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