What’s up, posers. Welcome to another Top 5 list. If you’re a punk like us, you don’t have time to listen to the man when he tries to get you to read a top 10 list, so we made a top 5 list to get you straight to the point. Today, we’re exploring something near and dear to my adolescent heart: skateboarding. One of American youth’s favorite pastimes, a recent trend has seen more adults picking up the sport as a hobby, allowing former punks and scene kids to embrace their true passions later into their life. For those interested in joining them, we’ll now be exploring the top five cities with the highest adult skateboarders per capita.
Just, please don’t ruin these cities by moving to them. Please.
Number 1 – Austin. That’s right, we saved the best for first. Austin is the most iconic old skateboarder city, in that it is incredibly hard to actually skateboard within the city limits. Plus, the aging population that made Austin cool in the first place and the vibrant music scene help. There’s nothing quite like seeing a woman in her 60s kick-flipping over the bird scooters on Congress with her middle fingers up. Trust me, I saw. I was the one she was flipping off.
Number 2 – Washington D.C. What D.C. lacks in anarchist punks, it makes up for with adult skateboarding fiends. You can nary walk a quarter-mile without bumping into one of these former gutter punk now middle class dads. They can be seen around the city, scooting on a skateboard with a bagel and coffee in hand, living their best lives. And with the entire city being so flat, it makes it easier for the elder boarders to get around without too much effort.
Number 3 – Omaha, NE. Smack dab in the middle of the midwest we find a skateboarding haven full of older men and women trying their best not to sprain an ankle doing a sick trick. Additionally, the cool weather allows for maximum chillaxing.
Number 4 – Jacksonville, FL. Not sure this one fully needs explaining, but if you find yourself in Jacksonville, buckle up because you might never leave. It is almost impossible to escape, meaning that all of the surfers who moved there are still there sometimes 40 to 50 years after the fact. Some have moved to skateboarding. OK, maybe that did need some explaining, but you would have gotten there.
Number 5 – Madison, WI. What better snack for a post-board outing than delicious cheese? Madison is not only the capitol city of Wisconsin, but it’s also the top place to find women in their 60s absolutely shredding some grinds. Unfortunately, due to the fact that these women have been here for years, it’s very difficult to break into the scene. Again, don’t move here.
If you’re still young enough to want to move to one of these places, don’t waste your time. Move where you want to move and trust us, we’ll all want to be skateboarding when we’re older because we’ll all forever be chasing our childhoods. But that’s for another piece.