Happy New Year! As a Treat, Here’s a Sneak Peek at 30 Years in the Future


Oh boy oh boy, we all dream and time keeps moving. Welcome to the new year, everyone! We made it. With each trip around the sun, we move further into that uncertain future we all dread. Personally, I love using this as an excuse to try and improve my life, as if I know what that would look like. I have no idea what’s best for me, that’s what I pay my therapist for. And she teaches me that I do know what’s best. It’s very cyclical. Anyways, it’s because of them that we have been given a gift. I have learned how to look into the future. Want to know what 30 years from now looks like? Let me tell you.


Rather than spoil too much for you, we’ll just give you the highlights.


First off, there are no governments, there is only Wal Mart Amazon Sam’s Club Trader Joe’s. Thankfully, we all work there, so it makes things easy.


Secondly, the sun has gone. It’s not out or anything, we can just no longer see it due to the constant blackish blue haze that has become our sky.


Thirdly, Santa Fe is now the largest city in the country. Don’t ask me why, don’t ask me how. All I will say is that it looks like high elevation cities are the way to go in the future.


Fourthly, every summer will be a wet hot American summer. But not for the good reasons.


Fively, we discovered aliens, I guess? Anyways they are here, they’re queer, and they want to live in our oceans.


Sixful, pretty much everyone lives in communes now and it’s a fun old time. From what I can tell from the journal I discovered written in my own hand writing, we moved to these communes when cities became too overpopulated to live in. We’ve never been happier. Everyone has a garden. I built a scarecrow last week.


Sevenly, they are still making Marvel movies.


Lots to look forward to, huh? See you there!

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