For months, there hasn’t been a single thing that has made me want to get involved in the political process. The last four years have been so annoying for me as an influencer, as I have never really cared too much about who runs the country. I only care about making money. But then, like a knight in shining armor, I saw that Michael Bloomberg that had announced his campaign for president and I knew that the time had come for me to get involved. I was going to use my power to make a difference in the world and it felt good. Now, before I get into why I believe Mike is right for this country, I should disclose that this is a sponsored post paid for by Bloomberg for President.

 

First of all, Bloomberg has done what no one else has been able to do except for handful of other people. That is, of course, earn an incredible sum of money through a lifelong career as a deal-maker and a get-doner. I believe that this country needs someone who can get things done and understands the art of making deals. I am confident that Michael Bloomberg is the exact type of person.

 

Second, after the last four years, we need to have a president who shares my American values. Whether that is wrongfully imprisoning black teens for the idea of carrying a weapon or making Muslims fear for their lives, he knows how to get the job done. His proven track record shows that he understands what America stands for, what it has always stood for, and what, I hope, it will continue to stand for. We don’t need to make America great again, it’s always been great!

 

Thirdly, as someone who has had his fair share of run-ins with the ladies, I can completely relate to Bloomberg’s slue of accusations that he has had to face. Shouldn’t a president, above all else, be relatable? I’m not here to say whether or not these vicious attacks against an innocent man are true or false, that’s up to the courts. But, I can repeat what I’ve seen on Reddit verbatim if anyone challenges my beliefs.

 

Finally, I know that it’s no longer trendy to like billionaires, but there’s something about Mike that really excites me about giving him the most powerful position in the world. Just picture what he could do for our country! I mean, I haven’t seen any of his plans laid out or anything, but I am sure he’s got some good ideas floating around in his big ol’ brain. I say we just trust him implicitly to know right from wrong.

 

Now, whether or not I believe anything about what I just said is neither here nor there. What matters is that Bloomberg paid me to write this and you better believe that once that check clears, I’m going right back to voting for Vermin Supreme.