Hehe, what’s up? It’s me, you know my name. Let me tell you something, I love my life. Everything has been pretty good so far, you know? I mean, I have this face, that’s pretty nice. Greta Gerwig and Wes Anderson seem to have a thing for me, so that’s gonna support my lifestyle for a few more months. For some reason, I’m about to be given the key to the city of Nice, France and I’ve never even been there. Pretty cool, right? I don’t even know why I’m writing this, I just started thinking about my life and thought maybe I should share this with someone. My name is Timothée Chalamet and I approve this message.

What message am I endorsing? Well you know, just that life is cool and everything is chill beans. Who doesn’t agree with that? I want everyone to hear this message, coming from me Timothée Chalamet. Even my name is fun to read. Timothée Chalamet. God, life is wonderful.

Some people think that being an actor is all hot goss and shooting flicks, but really it’s not all that. It’s just a job like you have a job, right? I bet I’ve even played a character in a film with a dad who had a similar professional, so I can totally relate to your life. That’s what being an actor does. It turns you into an empath on a scale no one can comprehend. That’s how I know how you feel. That’s how I know how everyone feels.

So go out and enjoy your life, you know? Everything is going to be OK. You can trust me, I’m Timothée Chalamet.

Now, to the real point of this article. Hi, this is still me Timothée Chalamet. Sorry about all that, I just needed to talk with you. In private.

I’m under a lot of stress, man. Do you know what it’s like to be me? No, of course you don’t. Only I must bear the name Chalamet until the end of time. Only I must shoulder this burden.

I just need someone who can tell me everything is going to be alright when everything feels so wrong. Sure Saoirse is great and everything, but we’re both so busy that it’s hard to sit down and have a heart to heart these days. And even when we do, it’s usually in character.

I still endorse the message that life is unique and beautiful and all that bull shit. But honestly? Honestly I’m just really tired.