The Truth About Elevators


I know we say this every other week, but everything you know is a lie. But just because we say it all the time doesn’t mean it’s not true. It’s just that there are so many lies in our lives we are uncovering all the time. Mainly for specific things that you only uncover when you really think about it. The newest truth we have discovered has to do with everyone’s favorite way to climb a building at a rapid speed. That’s right, elevators. Or as we like to now call them, el-lie-vators, because they are masters of deception. Here’s the skinny.


Picture this. You walk into an elevator of your choosing and turn to choose your floor. After waiting a few seconds, the door closes and you are left alone in the elevator. Over the next several seconds, you are transported to another floor. In that time, something happens to you, but you’ll only know that if you are in an elevator with a mirror. You see, the you who entered the elevator is not the same person who walks out.


Yes, we know it might sound too good to be true, but when you are as sure about something like this as we are, we don’t mince words. Right now you are surely picturing every elevator ride you can remember in your life. “Did something change in there?” you wonder. “Am I the same person who first rode an elevator all of those years ago? Or am I so far removed from that original self that I am not even the same cells?”


This is all a natural part of accepting this reality. Take a deep breath, it’s not the end of the world.


I mentioned the mirror thing earlier specifically to strengthen your faith in what is now scientific fact. Next time you’re in an elevator with a mirror, watch yourself in the reflection as you travel up or down. At some point on your journey, a smile will begin to creep across your reflection’s face in the mirror despite not feeling the same facial expressions yourself. It will be brief, but it will be enough for you to know that the change has been made.


What this means existentially is not for us to speculate on, we’ll leave that to the experts. However, we like to think of it as a fresh start, something new to look forward to, you know? Life can be a lot more fun when you are staring the truth of it in the face and not relenting still. Lies are easy, but the truth will show you god.


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