Be very, very still. There’s something we need to tell you, but we are going to build up to it so that you don’t freak out. Something is happening to you that is beyond your control. In order to get through this without freaking out and losing it, you need to listen closely to what we are telling you. We are being calm, we are being thoughtful, and we are not going to jump up and down when we get to the end of this next sentence. Now, listen up, there is a spider on your head. Yes, a big one. But, as they say, acknowledging the spider on your head is half the battle.

Now, to the rest of the battle. Because yes, this is going to be a battle.

This is what is known as a jumping spider and it’s as bad as it sounds. It’s first move is going to be to try and position yourself on your head to leap off and get in a better position for attack. Likely another person or a nearby wall.

And guess what? It’s not the bite you have to look out for, it’s the spit. This is why it is moving off of you, to find a way to line up it’s shot.

But, the fact that you have acknowledged the spider’s presence means that you have a leg up on it. If it jumps, you can move to block. If it moves around your body, you can attempt to smush it against the wall or with a balled fist. You are in control, remember that, because it’s definitely not going to feel that way for a few seconds.

It is your destiny and this spider is not going to stop you from living your life. Sure, it’s poisonous. Sure, it’s deadly as hell. And sure, in reality it probably is less afraid of you than you are of it. But none of that should stop you from living your truth and making the most out of this.

Spiders on your head don’t happen that often, but when they do, they are likely an omen for something far worse. So take heart, because if you can me it through this, you can make it through what is coming.