Cleaning Out Your Fridge in the Age of Coronavirus


I feel like I’ve been saying this for months and months, but these are strange times we’re living in. Every day feels like it both lasts a month and only a few minutes at the same time. I know this virus in respiratory, but it sure seems like it’s affecting the way time works as well. Regardless, we’re not here to talk about relativity today. No, today we’re here to talk about cleaning out your fridge during these unprecedented times. This may not seem like a huge task and it might not be at the top of your to-do list, but trust me, as someone who just looked into the void of a moldy mustard jar, it should be.


You are likely thinking, “What’s the big deal?” Even if you have cleaned out your fridge in recent memory, you aren’t prepared for the moral debacle ahead of you. “Why?” you might ask. Because you have no idea what you should save in a time like this because no one knows what is going on.


Consider my dilemma earlier today. I was looking at a jug of orange juice that was 5 weeks expired and I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. Want to know why? I’ll tell you why. Because all I could think about was what the world might look like in two weeks. Maybe orange juice will be the currency at that point. We literally have no way of knowing! That could happen!


So obviously I’m not going to throw out what could end up being valuable. Even if we don’t shift to an OJ economy, maybe I’ll need to use it to cook with or something. We literally don’t know!


But where does this leave us, with no concept of a future? No, I’m seriously asking.


What I ultimately decided was that when the time comes where we are sharing orange juice in big huge vats, I’m not sure I will be able to control my urge to go bananas. So in the meantime, you might as well just throw that OJ out. There’s no way you’ll make it that long.


There will be more groceries at the store, there will be more toilet paper, there will be good deeds being done, but most of all. There will hopefully emerge a better society on the other side. The earlier we start realizing that the government is supposed to work for us and if they aren’t, they need to be removed, the sooner our better world will begin. And you along with your fridge will make it through.


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