(Sunnydale, CA) Have you ever looked someone in the eyes and realized that there’s not much there? Not nothing, just something hidden away beneath layers and layers of dark, black void. Well, I’ll tell you now that you were looking into the sunken place, a place no one should ever be sent. And yet, people around the world are stuck there every single day with no hope for escape. One of the largest such groups of people is one you may not expect: boyfriends. This is not a sexist trope, this is not something to further harmful norms, this is simply the truth of the unlikely yet magical world we find ourselves in. Let us tell you more about it.
“I first noticed it when he didn’t even blink when I tried to eat his quesadilla right out of his hand,” one local girlfriend explained. “He didn’t even blink. He just sighed softly and handed me the rest of it. What is that about? It was a joke! I didn’t want him to just give it to me, I wanted to get him in a Mood. It was then that I looked in his eyes and I knew he wasn’t there. He was Sunken.”
The same story repeated again and again. Always over something small, something where the boyfriend’s partner didn’t mean anything by it and yet the boyfriend just gave up. “I was just teasing,” another concerned partner told us. “But next thing I knew, he was in the kitchen attempting to wash a pan with nothing but his fingers. I had to put on that new Fiona Apple album just to snap him out of it.”
It’s becoming a serious issue, but scientists and researchers are as dumbfounded as the rest of us when it comes to why boyfriends are so susceptible to falling into the sunken place. “Anyone can fall in,” the leader researcher at MIT told us. “But there is a specific trait that boyfriends have which prolongs their stay in the Sunken Place. And as we all know, the longer you are in there, the harder it is to get out.”
These researchers advise sitting your boyfriend down for his favorite movie and a snack at least once a week to avoid letting him slip. But constant vigilance is the only way to fight this and although it may require more of you as a partner, your boyfriend deserves.
And, if he doesn’t, if him being in the sunken place doesn’t change anything or even improves the situation, well, I think you’ve found your answer. Maybe this whole thing going around will lead to some good in the end after all.