If you are a white person in the United States of America, you may have had to think about your race more than you have in your life the last few weeks. While some see this as an opportunity to address systems of privilege and injustice, others are already growing tired of introspection and growth. Although this is to be expected, many in the BIPOC community are telling white people to ‘get over it’ and ‘imagine living this every day,’ which is correct. However, as we all know, white people can’t survive long without being in the spotlight, so we thought we’d try to help by creating something that focuses on them.


We humbly present ‘5 Things White People Just Can’t Get Enough Of.’


1. Having weddings in barns. Have you ever been to a white wedding? Those things are always in barns or at the very least a gabled roof wedding venue trying very hard to be a barn. Just depends on how much money daddio has in the bank.


2. Posting ‘Why isn’t anyone talking about this?’ with a picture of cops doing their job. In recent weeks, there has been an uptick in this sort of behavior, but it’s true across the board that white people love to spread cop propaganda under the assumption that no one is seeing the things cops are doing. In reality, we are seeing what cops are doing and that’s kind of the problem.


3. Repeating empty platitudes about race that sound like they were written by Pete Buttigieg. Have you seen a post like this recently? If so, you know what we mean. We need to come together in this time of anxiety, not push each other apart. We need to listen rather than speak, but then also speak about what we heard. We need to welcome each other with open arms while protecting those amongst us with those same arms. We need to make a stand and change things, or not, they don’t really effect me.


4. Putting people into categories. From enneagrams to zodiac signs to concentration camps, white people can’t get enough of organizing every person they know into neat, tidy categories.


5. Watching ‘The Help’ and then talking about it for ten years. Did you know it’s been ten years since ‘The Help’ came out? Yeah, you wouldn’t think so, would you? It was like the number #1 trending movie on Netflix like two weeks ago. Just, please watch a different movie (and a different book series than Harry Potter while you’re at it).


And there you go! If you’re white and didn’t see something on here that makes you go absolutely buck wild, don’t tell us. Make your own damn article.