Opinion: Why are Timestuck Children Always British?

Here at Eritas Daily, we try to only ask the tough questions that people want the answers to and today we are doing it again. For years, we as a society have been repeatedly told the story of children lost outside of a certain time. Typically, these children are from a few generations before the protagonist in order to keep some level of generational understanding between them. However, there have been examples of children from even further back, sometimes thousands of years, which leads to even more stark distinctions between past and present. Nonetheless, the question we still remain asking is – why are these timestuck children always British?

Now, before we dive too deep into this, let us say first that although we will mainly be talking about the stories of these children, we want to say that we will not confirm nor deny that children are trapped between worlds, between eras, on a regular basis. That said, if you do have solid evidence of this, please let us know.

So what’s the deal, right? I mean, do British children have a higher level of time travel ability or is this another example of White Supremacy infecting everything? These are the answers we seek to discover. We need to know.

Of course, as with any important scientific topic, there are differing opinions that range widely across the map. Some, for example, think that these children are often British not because they are from the past, but from the future. Apparently, all children will speak like that when we adopt Galactic English as a universal language.

Others believe that there was an extremely prolific wizard that lived in England back in the day. And, considering it was the 1840s and children were very easy to kidnap, he would often pluck children off the street and whoosh them off to be the subject of his many experiments. Being that he was so dedicated to his craft, these truthers claim they can trace up to 150 disappearances to this one wizard.

Our theory, however, is a lot simpler. You see, when you live somewhere like England, somewhere where so much has happened in such a small place, there’s ghosts everywhere. In fact, there are so many ghosts in England that the lines between the ghost world and ours blurs, leading random British children to wander beyond the reaches of the country and end up haunting people the world over.

No matter what you believe, the general consensus is that we like spooky British children because their accent offsets the horror of looking at the truth of our world too closely. In other words, why question it if it isn’t hurting anyone?


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