Listen, I care about the Earth. There, I said it. OK? Sue me. But I am tired of hiding it, alright? It’s so cool to care about Covid right now, but we’ve got a bigger storm coming, literally, in the next 15-20 years. And ever since I learned about this, since I care about the Earth as I stated earlier, I have been trying my best to live sustainably and do my part to reverse things before it is too late. But you know what? I have something I want to complain about and I need the space to do it. So, if you’ll let me, I want to talk about all the damn dishes I keep doing.


The first thing they teach you in Sustainability Class is that single use plastics are the worst thing in the world. In fact, as soon as I went home, I threw out all single use plastic items in my house. I realize now, after having attended my second Sustainability Class, that at that point it would have been better to just use them anyways since the main unsustainable part happens during production. But it’s the thought that counts, right?


As I have grown in my knowledge, read more books, and taken more classes, I have found new ways to cut down on consumption and become a more sustainable human. All along the way, single use plastics have been completely eliminated from my grocery store trips, leading me to collect a lot of fun, very specific devices and kitchen tools. I think you can see where this is going.


With more kitchen tools, pots, pans, plates, etc., I have so many dishes to do. So many!


So, as I stood there, night after night doing dishes for the millionth time, slowly wearing down my plates to nothing but a nub, thinking about what I had given up in the name of sustainability. And then, as I looked myself in the reflection on my nice shiny plate, I realized that the problem wasn’t me.


No, it is the multinational corporations making the single-use plastics in the first place. Obviously! So next time you are sitting there, sorting paper from plastic or doing way too many dishes, remember who the real cause of all this is. When the water starts coming up to your ankles and you explode from heat stroke, don’t blame your neighbor for not driving a Telsa, blame people like Elon Musk for existing and not doing a damn thing to change the world they have destroyed.