Opinion: I’m Tired of Being Married to the Hurdy Gurdy Guy

It has finally come to this. I didn’t think I would be writing this article on my wedding day 11 years ago, but here we are. Things change, people change. But life moves forward. I’m here today because I think I have reached the end of my relationship with my husband. He doesn’t know this, yet, I thought I’d tell you first, but I am so tired and I just want this to be over. I’ve made the decision in my head, so I need to follow through, right? Oh god, but what if I make a mistake? Let me tell you my story and you tell me if I’m wrong to be tired of being married to the hurdy gurdy guy.


It all started, like most of these stories do, at a renaissance festival. We had started going one summer when our D&D friends wanted to go as a joke. Unfortunately, my husband Seth got way too into it and we came home with full outfits, swords and all. This was when I realized that maybe we were on different levels. If only I knew.


Cut to six months later and our apartment is literally covered in ren faire shit. I couldn’t stand it. I had to leave for a few weeks to clear my head while he went to yet another convention. Little did I know that this would be where things would go from bad to worse.


At the convention, he found something that took him from being just a regular nerdy guy into something far deeper within the world of geeks. He brought back a hurdy gurdy. A damn hurdy gurdy. Are you kidding me? When I got married to this man, I did not expect this is something I would have to deal with.


If you don’t know, a hurdy-gurdy is a stringed instrument that produces sound by a hand crank-turned, rosined wheel rubbing against the strings. It is both haunting and beautiful, but that is not the reason why my husband got it. Sure, it would be one thing if he could play it and could serenade me, but instead he simply chooses to improv it and he has no musical talent whatsoever.


So whenever he busts it out, which is nearly every night, I have no choice but to watch and listen as he tries his best to play it. It is bad. Must I leave him for something so minor? Yes, I think I do.


Try to convince me not to in the comments. You have three days.

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