What My Animal Crossing Villagers Got Up to in the Last 10 Months When I Forgot I Owned a Switch

Remember a year ago? I certainly don’t. The last 12 months have all blurred together in my mind and all events seemed to have happened both yesterday and in March of 2020 simultaneously. Apparently it’s called a ‘trauma response,’ who knew. That said, if you happen to have better memory than I do, you might remember the early stage pandemic craze that was Animal Crossing: New Horizons. Released on March 20th, 2020, AC:NH was a life-saver for thousands of people around the world who suddenly found themselves trapped at home. Unfortunately, as time wore on and as things slowly started looking up, a lot of us forgot about our Animal Crossing islands and the villagers we had spent time collecting had to fend for themselves.

I recently booted up my Switch after forgetting it existed for 10 months and I was shocked to see what my Animal Crossing villagers had gotten up to when I was away. Here are some of the highlights.

First, the boys over at Nook’s Cranny have overthrown Tom Nook as island director and have decided that an anarchist commune is more in line with their ideal utopia island than the capitalist hellscape that Tom had built for them. Surprisingly, Isabelle was OK with this and did her best to set up the boys for success, all while keeping Tom on an island off the coast where they can keep an eye on him.

Secondly, Erik, Beau, and a group of other deer villagers started to uncover bizarre secrets of the island. Namely, the fact that the entire thing seemed to exist in a snow-globe, with no way in and no way out other than Dodo Airlines. They tried swimming out beyond the borders, but found nothing but an invisible wall blocking their path. Even trying to hold their breath and swim under it didn’t work, as the barrier stretched from sandy bottom to infinite sky. Realizing that they were doomed to spend eternity on the island, they started to worship a deer god of their own invention and I found them doing this when I logged back on.

Thirdly, speaking of Dodo Airlines, like the extinct bird itself, it turns out that the airline doesn’t exist. It was Lolly who made this discovery after trying to visit another island, only to wind up in a bizarre alternate timeline where she already lived on the island she was trying to visit. She had different friends, different clothes, and even a different home. Before she could think on this too much, she was awoken by another villager telling her she had hit her head on something and was unconscious the whole time. When she tried to explain it to them, they would point out that Dodo Airlines was still functional and she could leave anytime she wanted. No one has seen her since.

Finally, a group of cranky villagers lead by Boris decided that enough was enough and they were going to break free from the island, no matter what it would take. “If no one is going to run this island from the top-down, then it is up to us to form a new utopia. We’ve been abandoned by our god, for they have become afraid of what they have created. Let’s give them a reason to believe that their fear is warranted.”

And so it was that when I returned, they were waiting for me. I write this to you now, strapped to a pile of broken wooden furniture, with a torch lit and ready to set me ablaze. I can only issue this as a word of warning for those who follow me. Either spend your life monitoring your island to keep everyone happy or abandon it completely. If you come back, your villagers will burn you at the stake.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s