Paranormal Researchers Discover the Real Reason Why Cats Get Hairballs

If you own a cat, you likely have a pretty good idea of what your cat’s vomit looks like. Although this might be true of dog and child parents alike, ask any cat parent you know and they will tell you it’s a whole different ballgame when it comes to furry felines. But why is this the case? And why are cats constantly puking up hairballs along with all manner of other disgusting stomach content? The answer comes from a surprising source – paranormal investigators. According to a recent study in Ghosts! Magazine, cats are protecting us from other-worldly visitors and their gross habits are actually preventing us from falling into a world of hell and chaos.

“It’s quite simple,” explained lead scientist and paranormal researcher Bev Stevens. “Ghosts, demons, and beings from beyond the veil will often hover around a specific location, such as a house, bodega, or coffee shop. As they hover, they look for souls to inhabit and corporeal forms to take over. Often, they will mistake a human soul for a cat soul and end up taking over the body of the feline. The rejection of this demon is what laymen call ‘a hairball.'”

That’s right – the hairballs your cat is puking up might actually be saving your soul from eternal damnation.

Upon learning about this, we immediately contacted the church for their response. While most of the churches we asked declined to respond, Father Beacon Deacon of Holy Moly Church had this to say. “There are things beyond this world that I dare not try to comprehend. Only our Father above knows what goes on with the beasts from beyond. I certainly have never battled them for the soul of a believer in the depths of Hell, armed only with my knowledge of scripture and God’s protection. But, if I did, these cat abilities would definitely have come in handy to have known about.”

Turning from the church to the other experts involved here, we asked a Facebook group titled ‘Cat Ladies Forever’ what they thought about this shocking report.

“Makes sense,” said Sheryl.

“I buy it,” commented Toby.

“That would explain the way my cat has been climbing upside down on the ceilings and whispering Latin into my ear every night,” replied Stephanie.

When it all comes down to it, the most important thing here is that if you have a cat in your life, you should thank them for their service in protecting you from demons beyond the pale. Who knows where we would be without them.

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