You heard it here first, folks. The new meme that just came off the presses is these bad boys.
(Picture of cool lizards)
Lizards have been around forever, we just used to call them Dinosaurs, and before that, we called them Typhon, the father of all monsters. Now, they have become what all living beings hope to be: a meme.
You might be asking yourself, how can a squamate reptile be a meme? Well, anything can be a meme if you have the right attitude. Dick Cheney became a meme without trying, while Danielle Bregoli of cash me ousside fame tried really, really hard to achieve her meme status. Lizards have always been meme-adjacent, but now they have officially received their meme status.
(Picture of a lizard playing a guitar while surfing a gnarly wave)
Your next question is probably: “hey cool, lizards are memes now. What does this mean for me?” It’s a good question to ask and we applaud you for taking the effort to ask it.
Lizards as memes means that now we can end jokes the punch line “lizards” and the joke instantly becomes funnier. It means that we can chip off this element of our culture and spread it across the internet, creating both awful and truly wonderful things with it. It means that we can post more on Facebook about lizards, which is always a plus.
(Picture of three lizards sitting in a hammock like cool dudes)
Another FAQ that we anticipate is: “what about pre-existing lizard memes? I mean, what is the Geico Gecko if not a walking and talking lizard meme?”
The Geico Gecko is right out, because he was created by a corporation and as we all know, thanks to the trial and error of Denny’s and Pepsi, true meme status cannot be born in a cubicle.
As far as other pre-existing lizard memes, like the congressional GOP, we do not recognize them things that are pre-existing. We also love coleslaw. Those are the only two things we have in common.
(Picture of a lizard in front of an American flag, dressed in full army regalia and returning from his third tour in Iraq)
in honor of lizards officially being memes, we also wanted to say that this means snails are no longer the dominant meme force in coldblooded creatures. There is a new sheriff in town and her name is Nüwa.
Lastly, we would like to please inform our readers that what we said earlier is in fact true: if you want to be a meme hard enough, you can fulfill your dreams. Being a meme is all about your attitude, and people with the right attitudes are those who become legendary memes.
Pepe had the right attitude. Dat Boi had the right attitude. Justin Timberlake had the right attitude, but then he was possessed by a corporation and thus his meme status has been rescinded. Eric Andre has the right attitude.
If you think that you have the right attitude, email us at firstname.lastname@example.org to apply for meme status today!
(Picture of two lizards, both wearing sunglasses and high fiving)
This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who just realized he forgot to add the pictures into this article. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.