The New Meme is: Loving Cows


Hello America, we bring you now this breaking meme report. According to those who are trained in the Old Ways of Meme Magic, there is a new cultural trend brewing on the horizon. Last time we spoke, the meme they brought to us was meme-ing celebrities with their own names. Before that it was simply lizards. But today is a new day, and a new meme has been brought down from the mountain top. I am happy to report that the new meme is officially: loving cows, plain and simple.


In a press release issued by the Great Meme Magic Community, or the GMMC, they stated that this is the will of the cosmos and whatever brand is in charge of choosing the meme for this moon cycle. As mere common folk, we do not pretend to understand the way that these wizards conduct their business, we simply listen and try our best to understand. We understand this: cows are deserving of our love.


Now, I know you might be thinking, “Hey. you’re definitely not the first person to love cows. That’s a pretty popular thing to love, all things considered.” And you would be right to say that. In fact, part of the new meme and loving cows is acknowledging those who cam before us. Pioneers in the art of loving a cow. We give them their due respect.


But what do the Meme Magicians mean when they say to love cows? We believe this to be the most wholesome meme they have passed down thus far, and it simply is to be understood that we as a society should spend more time appreciating the cows in our lives. See a cow in a field? Say ‘Hey, what’s up?’ See a cow in the supermarket? Don’t kill it. See a cow in a nightmare you would rather forget? Love it and work through your trauma. Embrace these cows in your life. Love them.


This of course has nothing to do with the fact that the corporation in charge of the Meme Magicians also has ties with a pro-cow agenda. We feel that it is our duty to report this, despite the fact that they are paying us a lot of money to make the new meme loving cows, we would not betray our readers like that.


If you are reading this, it is likely we have already been absorbed by the void, per the corporations traditional termination policy. If that is the case, we would like to send a special message to our friends and family: love cows or don’t, just don’t let a corporation tell you what to feel.


Maybe, you could make the new meme a working class revolt instead? Just spitballing here.




This article was written by Nathan Smellwood, who went to Mars once, but got annoyed by everyone calling the days ‘sols,’ so he left. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.


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