10 Better Names for Austin’s New Major League Soccer Team


(Austin, TX) For those who haven’t already heard, it appears that Austin is taking a further plunge into hipsterdom by adding a soccer team to the list of reasons why no one can afford to live here. According to an announcement made earlier this week, the team is going to start playing in the 2019 season and will be building a stadium in the northern part of the city. While many residents are thrilled about the addition of a major league team to Austin, a city with only a major league Ultimate Frisbee team thus far, others are more annoyed. Particularly with the name. In fact, even people who are excited about the team have apprehensions about the name. With that in mind, we have come up with 15 other ideas that the people in charge of those decisions can mull over.


Let’s go.


1. The Austin Neck Tats


2. FC Beard Oil


3. Austin Breakfast Tacos FC


4. The Grackles


5. The Willie Nelsons – Trust us, he would be down for it.


6. FC Avocado Toast


7. The Gentrifiers 


8. The Austin Transplants


9. The Austin Rescue Dogs


10. The Xantothar Void Knights


So yeah, any of these will work. We give you full rights to use them, just make it interesting, you know?





This article was written by the boys, Nathan Ellwood, Phil, and Paddy. Follow them here on places @NPEllwood @fillupjayfry @paddy.jpeg


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