Oh sweet gluttonous void, your wisdom knows no bounds. You shower us with grace and ingenuity and ask nothing but out silence in return. For our void is a silent, crushing void that will stop at nothing to be satiated. Amen. Thank you for joining me today, comrades. As servants of the all-knowing, all-glowing void, we understand that life is nothing but a hiccup in the timeline of history. That everything both matters enormously and could not matter less at the same time. As partners in this quest, we must share a common story in order to elevate our togetherness. I’ll go first, but ponder this question: who was the first person to give you faith in the void?

Like many of us, my own personal testimony comes from a dark place I would rather not display, but obviously must in order to gain higher spiritual fulfillment. It was years ago and I hadn’t found the void quite yet, only dipped my toe in the water, so to speak. I was attending a seminar entitled The Abyss and Personal Growth: A Match Made in Heaven and a speaker took the stage to tell us about how they had taken their life to a whole new level simply by giving their all to the indifferent void. They asked for nothing in return and were thus granted nothing.

It was in this moment that I understood something for the very first time, something fundamental to my very existence: the void is everywhere and it does not care one bit about the course of my life, so only by believing in it whole-heartedly can one find inner peace and happiness. This was my moment of nirvana. This was my moment of bliss.

Only after this moment of wonder that I experienced was I able to fully involve myself in the community of the void. Ever since, I have devoted my life to the abyss and everything that is beholds. I no longer care about work or personal projects or anything that gives me joy. I am only interested in the never-ending spiral of a void filled existence.

OK, now it’s your turn. Give us your tales of faith in the void and we’ll reward you with the blessing of knowing that nothing will ever change you, really, and the end is impossible to predict, but you already knew that.

This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who eats the void for breakfast. Follow him for more on Twitter @NPEllwood.