Wow, how the time flies. Today, October 8th marks 500 years that Eritas Daily has been in print. Beginning on this day in 1518, we published our first piece “Is It Just Me or is The Transit of Venus Not What it Used To Be?”, a hot take for the time. Ever since, we have been delivering the best news every day. And after 500 consecutive years, we are taking some time to celebrate and think about the future. What will Eritas look like in another 500 years? What have we learned from the last 500? Will we ever stop talking about the moon? These questions will be answered and more in this piece, our 500th anniversary special.
What will Eritas look like in another 500 years? We hope that there will be better health benefits and potentially off-planet activities, but we’re optimists. Likely it will just be me writing from my cryogenic tube, making fun of the alien overlords that have started harvesting us for our energy.
Who is your biggest inspiration? Let’s see, obvious answers first, like Oprah, Psy, The Terminator, etc. Less obvious, Pit Bull, The Void, sea snakes, black cats, etc.
What have we learned from the last 500? Men will be terrible.
One wish you could tell your readers? Buy our t-shirts.
Will you ever stop talking about the moon? No. Disrespectful question.
How can you live with yourself? On a nice, Tempur-Pedic, thanks for asking. Oh, what? I wasn’t listening.
If you could have one person guest write, who would it be? R. L. Stine.
Tell us a story from your childhood? When I was 7, I was climbing the fence into my backyard. As I reached the top of the fence, I saw a neighborhood kid that was always getting on my nerves. Not wanting to get caught atop the fence, I jumped into my yard, a significant fall. Halfway down, my soul left my body, speeding across the ancestral plane. I saw my ancestors leaving the space shuttle. I saw them settling in Europe. I saw them making the trek to America. And then, I hit the ground. I broke my arm, but I was so stunned, I didn’t notice. Just as I was about to leave the plane, the past of my ancestors turned into the future of my line. It was dark and horror-filled. I feared I’d taken the wrong path. I knew I would never be the same.
Any plans for less Void content? Never!
Thanks again. This has been the Eritas Daily bot, our new guest editor. They are simply fed a script of all of our work and they spit this crap out. Well worth the investment and now we no longer have to pay our writing staff. We’ll be long dead and this baby will still be pumping out hot, fresh new content for you. What a lovely thought.
This was written by Nathan Ellwood, of course. Thanks for supporting us this long, here’s to the future. Follow him @NPEllwood if you please.