Ask Your Doctor if The Void is Right for You

Doctor talking to patient in office, taking notes, smiling.?

Are you feeling down, unsure of where you are going in life and in need of something to lift your spirits? Join the club. Have you been noticing a dark presence following you each time you turn your head, but can never quite glimpse any distinguishing features? Happens to me all the time. Finally, do you think that as a part of this interconnected universe, our actions not only have no meaning, but may already be pre-ordained and thus should be rebelled against? I think we all feel this way from time to time. If you have answered yes to one or all of these questions, you should ask your doctor if The Void is right for you.


I first experienced the healing power of The Void when I was just a small child. I had come home from kindergarten on the day that we had learned about the Sun and the stars and I told my mother that I no longer believed in the structure of our reality. She just thought it was kids being kids, but from that moment on I had a fascination with our small place in this cold, unforgiving universe.


In middle school I would volunteer again and again to lead the class in a discussion about The Void, hoping to spread the word of the abyss to my friends and classmates. Unfortunately, my teacher was not as big of a fan as I, and forced me to stop trying to sell everyone on my whole “nothing matters” shtick. I told her it wasn’t a shtick, but she didn’t believe me.


It wasn’t until a trip to the edge of the world that I took for a college summer vacation that I understood something I had missed the whole time: The Void cannot be forced upon us, we must open ourselves up The Void. With this knowledge in hand, I began advocating for more doctors to recommend the Void to their patients that were suffering from anxiety or depression. However, after initial tests, we realized The Void had healing powers greater than we ever thought possible. Unfortunately, the patient still has to be the one to welcome it into their system.


Which is why we again tell you that you should ask your doctor or another equally trained medical professional whether The Void is right for you. And, if I can admit something, I hope that it is. Join us in The Void and you will see things more clearly than you ever dreamed. Embrace it, let it in, and let the endless nothingness smother you like a warm, heavy pillow.





This article was written by Nathan Ellwood, who is very tired from chasing dinosaurs. Follow him wherever @NPEllwood.


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