As we all know, the Halloween season can be a fun and lovely time, but it can also be a period of terror and skeletons on every street. In these times, we look to our foundations and what we hold dear as a society. For some reason, here in America, we are obsessed with binaries and putting people into one of two categories. I guess we can’t choose our culture, we can only watch from afar as it slowly eats itself from the inside out, but we are choosing to go with the flow this time. In honor of the horror we are beholding and in honor of categories, please fill out the falling quiz and let us know: are you a ghoul or a goblin?
Question #1: Would you rather spend your day eating the flesh of the living or eating the flesh of the dead?
If you answered living, you are a ghoul and should find yourself a suitable castle or backwoods to haunt. If you answered dead, you are a goblin and should seek immediate medical attention.
Question #2: What’s your ideal Sunday, soaking in the mud of a forbidden bog or pillaging a local farm?
If you answered pillaging, you are almost absolutely a goblin and all we can do is wish you the best. If you answered mud bog, nice.
Question #3: Who would you rather spend the day with, Danny Devito or Lady Gaga?
If you answered Danny, you are a goblin and might even be related. If you answered Gaga, you are a ghoul and have likely found the confidence you need to pull off any outfit, so just got for it.
Question #4: Who was your greatest artistic influence, Frida Kahlo or Georgia O’Keeffe?
If you answered O’Keeffe, you’re a ghoul because you like your solitude and that’s perfectly fine. If you answered Kahlo, you’re a goblin because you are one with the Earth.
Question #5: What makes you get up in the morning, living a fulfilling life or seeking revenge?
Contrary to popular opinion, if you answered seeking revenge, you are a ghoul. Goblins, although they might pillage and burn, have lives outside of their barbarian lifestyle. Ghouls, on the other hand, are far more dedicated and devote their entire lives to seeking revenge and haunting as many places as possible.
So, as you can see, there is a little bit of ghoul and goblin in all of us, but isn’t that an exciting thing to think about? Thanks for participating.
This article was written by Nathan Smellwood. Follow him here @NPEllwood for the tale of his rise from the forbidden bog to the somewhat capable adult you know today.