Opinion: Why are We Still Flying When Underwater Trains are on the Table?


Choo choo! Welcome to the future, nerds. We have… nothing! No flying cars, no Mission to Mars, this is not the America I was raised in. My history classes weren’t full of individualist propaganda for me to have to settle for Elon Musk, OK? I want real solutions to the real problems that are facing us as a country and I want the solutions to be awesome, is that too much to ask? If you are with me on this so far then let me tell you about something that we need to talk about right now. Who is one of the biggest consumers of fossil fuels? Airlines. All I’m saying is what if we replaced all flying with underwater trains.


Let me explain. As I learned by reading the titles of some videos when I searched “Underwater trains” on YouTube, we have the technology more than ready and available to make this happen. We need the United Nations to step it up and make a fuss about something for once in their lives. They should ban all planes, flying, and airlines, start working on building some underwater tracks, tunnels, and bullet-trains, and finally shoot Elon Musk to Mars like he keeps threatening to do. Then, we might finally be able to get some work done.


Now, you’re probably wondering about the logistics of the underwater train system, and I’m glad you are, that shows interest. Here’s the thing, I’m just the idea guy and I have a logistics guy on stand-by for when this project is finally green-lit. At the moment, I’m thinking we go by population and need, focusing mainly on the Pacific routes and the European-North American line. Ideally, we want to make sure that any areas susceptible to catastrophic water damage from rising ocean levels would be able to evacuate first.


Ideally, we won’t even need to use these fail-safes, but again, I am working with the world we have at present, and that definitely still needs some work. If we were to fully lean into the idea of planning for an underwater utopia, I am all for it. It would just take a lot more coordination than I think we are currently capable of and a much larger scale of interconnected systems. Again, I think we should do this, absolutely.


I’m sorry this has been so all over the place, but don’t let that distract from the validity of my statements. I don’t know anything about how to make this happen, but I am very excitable and I think that I could be a great spokesperson for the sustainability brand. Anyways, my email is EmailMan43@email.biz, so hit me up if you want to talk more. I’ve got plans for those oceans, man.






This was written by Nathan Ellwood who loves to party with the birds in the park. Please don’t join us, it is a private dance amongst friends. Follow him @NPEllwood.


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