In the upcoming revolution, lines will be drawn and we as a society will have to decide who is rich and who is worthy. Many of us believe that we will be on the right side of history, but until that coin falls, we will never truly know. However, as we look around our world, we can realize that whether the revolution comes in 5 years, 50 years, or 500 years, there will be certain individuals that will never make it through unscathed. Some of these individuals know it, but a few are tragically mistaken about their inevitable fates. Today, we are unveiling these billionaires for who they really are and sending a clear message that no, you are not better than the rest.
With that said, let’s get started!
1. Bill Gates
The poster boy for “good billionaires,” Bill Gates starts our list because he is by far the most oblivious. Listen dude, just because you are not the worst, doesn’t make you close to the best. You are still pretty low on the wrung and until you fix all of the problems on our planet with your massive wealth and influence, we will keep the guillotine clean and ready for action.
2. Kylie Jenner
You thought? Wow. Yeah, no way.
3. Elon Musk
As much as he might believe that the Reddit Bros will save him, Elon Musk will certainly be one of the first billionaires to go. He even tried to use Grimes to insulate him from the hate, but again, he is just woefully wrong. Most of the world would literally eat him for breakfast if they could, I know I would.
4. Zhang Zhidong
You though we would forget about you, Zhang? No way. You might be retired, but you still have more wealth than any human should ever reasonably have, so it’s a no from us, dawg.
It is with a heavy heart that we must report that yes, Jay-Z will not last the upcoming cataclysm. Not only is Hov one of the newest members on the billionaire list, but he is also undoubtedly the coolest person to ever claim the B title. And yet, he still exists in a world that none of us will ever truly understand. Nothing feels real when you exude that kind of wealth. So, sorry Jay, thanks for everything, but its gonna all come crashing down one of these days.
Let’s just hope Beyoncé never hits the billions.
This was written by Nathan Ellwood, yes its true. Follow him @NPEllwood.