Update: The House at the Edge of the Woods is Thinking About You


As you may remember, a couple of months ago, we told you about a house at the edge of the woods that we told you to never, ever think about. While we still maintain that this is the best course of action, updates to the situation have prompted us temporarily lift the ban on considering the house at the edge of the woods for a couple of important reasons. First, as you can see in the above picture, someone has turned on the exterior lights of the house. We don’t know why exactly these lights are on, but they are, and they are foreboding. Second, and the reason why we are addressing you today, insider reports have told us that the house at the edge of the woods is thinking about you.


Take a moment, collect yourself, consider what that might mean. OK, are you good? Nice and calm? Perfect, now you are ready to handle the rest.


Yes, this house that we know almost nothing about, other than that things occur there that none dare speak, is thinking about you. A. we didn’t know that houses could think, and B. why you? Are the rest of us not special enough for this spectral residency to pay us mind? I’m just as interesting as you, bro. If you end up talking to the house, make sure and tell it so.


So, what does this mean for you? Well, a couple of things. First, you have a new friend if you want one. That’s exciting, right? As an adult, it can be hard to make new friends and here you have a nice little habitat that wants to get to know you. What fun!


Second of all, it means that it is now OK to think about and consider the house at the edge of the woods. I know earlier we said that you should never ever think about it, but when the house thinks about you first, it becomes kosher and OK by the laws set down by our housefathers. As long as you are within the confines of those guidelines, you can continue living freely.


And finally, it means that it is time for you to enter the house at the end of the woods. None of us know what lies beyond that threshold, that’s for you to find out. Unfortunately, you likely won’t return, so the knowledge will stay with you, as it rightfully should.


Godspeed, fellow. Godspeed.





This was written by Nathan Ellwood who once fell into the Black Lodge, but got out through the arm. Follow him @NPEllwood.


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