Born Too Late to be a Witch, Born Too Early to be a Technopagan, Born Just in Time to Eat Cookie Dough with a Spoon


As a millennial who was born just before the explosion of the Internet, it can be easy to think fondly on other times one could have been born. Looking back, there are lots of interesting times throughout history where you feel like you might have fit in. Looking forward, there are lots of fascinating possibilities that you might never live to see. However, life will never be fulfilling if we approach it with this outlook. Instead, we need to embrace the here and now. Or, as I will explain further, even if you were born too late to be a witch and born too early to be a technopagan, you were born in a unique period where no one will stop you from eating cookie dough with a spoon.


This, truly, is something we should celebrate with every waking moment. Do you have any idea what eating cookie dough would do to your average medieval peasant? It would blow their mind out of their skull. Same goes for futuristic societies living out in space or in some grand simulation. By then, they’ll be sipping moon juice and eating protein bars made of crickets. The mere idea of cookie dough would have them salivating.


But us? We can go out and buy cookie dough right now and eat it. This is why the present is great, nay, better, than any of those other time periods. Sure, the future probably has some cool stuff, but no bug will compare with Tollhouse.


Of course, cookie dough is just a metaphor. You cookie dough could be watching people dance on Tik Tok. It could be scrolling through Tumblr or Reddit. Maybe it’s seeing a movie like Get Out in theaters. The important thing is that you are here, now, surrounded by millions of things that no one else will ever experience in same way you do.


By looking around at our world and recognizing what is unique about our time in history, we can love our silly little lives regardless of anything else going on. I can’t express how important this is to remember.


You are you and no one else is (well, sort of). Live you life with this knowledge and take time to eat cookie dough with a spoon when you can. Even if Sal Monella comes to get you, you will have lived a life worth living. Don’t ever forget that.

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