Over the long weekend at a party, I was surrounded by a group of friends discussing the recent birth of Elon Musk and Grimes’ baby, X Æ A-12. However, at the party, no one could agree on how to pronounce the name. Some said ‘Ash,’ others ‘Kyle,’ with even a few saying ‘Balrathar,’ but no one could agree on how to pronounce the name. In fact, even when attempting to say the name the same way, my friends found that they couldn’t. Over the last few days, I have asked more and more people how to say X Æ A-12 and no one has given me the same answer. I believe that we are experiencing a second Tower of Babel situation and I’m here to find out what we can do about it.

Here are short excerpts from a few different interviews I have conducted that show the wide range of responses. Keep in mind, the only question we asked was ‘How do you pronounce X Æ A-12?’

Tristan, I believe is how it is pronounced. I’m not an expert or anything, but that’s what I read in the news. Personally, I have no beef with them for how they name their child, but it seems a long way to go to just say Tristan.

I read online that they pronounce it ‘Ash,’ but I prefer to call him X-boy. I mean, there is no way that Elon musk is going to have a child who DOESN’T have superpowers. It’s an easy lead in, with Musk of course being the villain in the origin story. Or they save that for the finale of the franchise, either way I would watch the hell out of that movie. 

I don’t think we’re allow to pronounce it, actually. 

Grimes told me in a dream that her child’s name would spell famine for the world. Maybe she meant that we should pronounce it like the word famine? That seems catchy to me. 

If anything, it’s pronounced Kyle. I mean, why not, right? I would name my kid something dumb like Kyle but try to get away with it being spelled like that. Especially if I was Elon Musk. 

See? We’re about enter a whole world of godlessness and we are not prepared in the slightest. Beware, citizen. Beware!