Governor Greg Abbott Hopeful Purge Night Will Be More Popular This Year After Signing Permitless Carry Bill

(Austin, TX) Last week, Governor Greg Abbott signed into law the permitless carry bill, which allows for residents of Texas to purchase and carry a firearm without a permit or training. Today, at a press conference, Abbott doubled down on his latest fight for the Second Amendment by announcing that the state will be holding a second Purge in order to celebrate the passing of this bill. “We had a very successful Purge night last year to fight the spread of COVID,” the Governor remarked at his address. “But I am hopeful that Texans will come out in force for this year’s night of mischief.” With the bill going into effect on September 1st, Texans have only a few months to prepare or get out.

We caught up with some elected officials, business owners, and everyday citizens to see what they thought about this new bill and the subsequent Purge event that would be held at the end of September. Here’s what they had to say.

Jasmine, worker at Juiceland. Last year I was completely swamped at work and wasn’t able to attend the Purge, but it looked like a blast. Since we’re still on strike, I’m hopeful I’ll get a chance to get some revenge this time around. But morally speaking I find the whole thing reprehensible.

Bob Freely, local business owner. I’ve always dreamed of Texas returning to the height of the Wild West and it looks like my wish might finally come true. First, they defunded the police, now they are letting us commit any crime for 12 hours? What’s next, a denim renaissance? Please say yes.

Matthew McConaughey, potential 2022 candidate for governor. Alright, I’m only gonna say this once, so pay attention. Texas is not a state, it’s an idea. I’ve lived here my whole life and I know that better than anyone. So what does it say about us that so many of us have different ideas of what Texas can be? I’m all for freedom, but there has to be a seat at the table for everyone. It’s my hope that a compromise can be reached and that the future of our republic will forever look bright.

Talia Hamish, regional sales director. I’ll be leaving Texas a long time before any of this happens. You either have to be crazy to live here or have some sort of death wish. Personally, I’d like to avoid getting shot by someone in a cowboy hat by any means necessary, and for me, that means moving to Portland.

James Teeth, bone collector. Sounds like it will be good for business, so I have no notes.

Cait Bradwshaw, influencer. OMG! Me and the besties cannot wait for this extra Purge night. Plus, I’ve always wanted to have a gun and now its easier than ever! Our plan is to head downtown to see the action and try to team up with some hot dudes, but only if they have over 10k follows. I mean, I do have standards.

Sounds like there will be a good amount of participating, so if that terrifies you to the core the way it does for us, we recommend you get out now. Actually, you probably should have left a long time ago.


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