Opinion: Why I Think We Should Put on the Green Teotihuacan Mask to Save the World

(Mexico City, Mexico) A few days ago, something incredible happen in Mexico that we need to discuss. At the base of the Sun pyramid in Teotihuacan, the ancient city located just north of Mexico City, a mask has been found. Specifically, a green mask made of serpentine that resembles a human face and likely dates over 1500 years old, if not older. Now, the last few years have been full of reports of bog butter and black liquids found in tombs or other ancient structures, but this is the first time that we believe something more extreme should be done with the artifacts. What follows will be our case for what actions should be taken next.

It’s simple, really. We put the mask on. Hear me out.

Trust us on this. What could possibly go wrong? Teotihuacan was called the ‘City of the Gods’ be the Aztecs who built it and I believe that they were right. This mask likely has some sort of god-like energy that is incredible powerful and can sway nations. Personally, that seems like something we as humans need right now.

Imagine the physical toil that went into building the pyramids – do you think those people did that because they wanted to? No, they did it because they were likely slaves and their masters believed it would appease the gods. But if you had a magical mask that gave you, for instance, a booming speaking voice and maybe some mind control abilities, that would come in handy, no?

Plus, back then they didn’t even know what influencers were. Sure, there were people who were better at certain things and of course priests of the moon and sun, but picture what would be possible with that cool mask and a big enough audience. Almost anything could be done if you set your will to it.

So our idea is to let someone we trust, like Levar Burton or Roxane Gay or someone, put the mask on. They would then use the mask to urge as many people as they can reach to march together to end reliance on fossil fuels and build our new society. With the manpower of the entire world, we could get it done in a weekend. Just imagine it, us all working together under the haunting visage of the mask, living in harmony. Sounds dreamy.

All we’re saying is that if this is our only chance to reverse climate change and create the world we’ve always wanted and quite honestly, deserved, we should take it.


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