Ya girl is BACK with 2019’s TOP FIVE SEXIEST HALLOWEEN COSTUMES. If you missed the first two, move past it, we got things to discuss.

1. Sexy Whistle Blower: For this costume, you can feel free to be a bit imaginative, but with the very helpful, New York Times-endorsed guideline of C.I.A. officer vibes. Grab your tightest pencil skirt, your push-upiest bra, and get to work! Worried nobody will get your costume? Wear a referee whistle around your neck!

2. Sexy Elizabeth Warren: What’s sexier than a woman with moral backbone and a plan? Get out on that campaign trail with you sensible outfit, your wire-frame glasses, your adorable dog, and kick some bigoted rear-end! Bonus points for this costume can be made by carrying around the necessary paperwork to register your fellow partygoers to vote, because nothing is sexier than fulfilling your civic duties🇺🇸😜

3. Sexy Cancel Culture: Pick a celeb who you just CANNOT COPE WITH, and make a sexy costume of them! Be warned: this costume is not for the faint of heart, as you will have a lot of manslpaining “Um acccctually” comments to deal with.

4. Sexy Four Loco: For the party goer who just wants you to know that they like to get SLOPPY*. Grab a thrift store tube dress and some puffy paint and go to town making yourself look like your favorite flavor! For a little extra kick to this costume, carry around your route 44 cup and just keep refilling it (sometimes with water – hydration is important!) throughout the night.

5. Sexy Joker: lol JUST KIDDING. Sexy Joker? Come on.

*Seriously though, be smart. If you’re going to get sloppy, get a cab, or a ride from a sober friend. Regardless of what/how much you choose to drink, do not drink anything that has left your sight. Watch out for each other and have a Happy Halloween!

This article was put together by Maggs, who is going to spend HER Halloween watching Hocus Pocus. She genuinely hopes that each and every one of you have a lovely Halloween.