Another day, another reason to hate or love Elon Musk, depending on who you are. If you haven’t already heard, over the weekend Tesla’s frontman announced the newest line of vehicles from his company, the Cybertruck. While there are lots of things we could say about this development, such as ‘Did you design it using PS2 graphics?’ and ‘Why, you big dumb idiot, why?’ But alas, we are cursed with a mind that only thinks of the future and what something like the Cybertruck means for our society moving forward. After some deep thinking, we believe we have figured it out. Elon Musk is simply going all-in on a Mad Max style apocalypse in the near-to-distant future.
By this point, the simple fact that there will be an apocalypse should not surprise you. The question isn’t if, but when and what kind of apocalypse should we prepare ourselves for. By building something as over-the-top as the Cybertruck, it is clear that Tesla, Elon Musk, and his confidant Grimes have placed their faith in a thunder-dome style end of our society. One that they are now ensuring they will be prepared for, should their Mars plan fall through.
My biggest problem with this is that I’m totally on board for this style of apocalypse. As I have said, aesthetics are everything, so if our future world resembled anything remotely like Fury Road, I would be pretty stoked. But it just has to be Elon Musk and his weird fantasies because that’s the world we live in. I guess an evil villain is warranted in our upcoming apocalyptic landscape, I just wish Musk wasn’t so lame.
Not to be outdone, Jeff Bezos the bastard has already announced that his engineers have started working on creating his own apocalypse scenario. “I’ve always been a fan of the Blade Runner series, so that’s the angle I’m going for,” Bezos told us via Facebook Messenger App. “He’s such a dumbass, why would you want minimalism when you could maximize your potential?” This was soon followed by an announcement from Amazon that they would begin constructing the ‘Bezos Pyramid’ in Los Angeles, a structure that will cover the entire sky.
Others are just following Tesla’s trend with Ford, Chevy, and GMC announcing their own Mad Max vehicles that will be coming out early next year and boy do they look metal. The Ford car is a built in fortress, because you know that thing is going to break down. The Chevy is a real battering ram, an offensive vehicle designed specifically to destroy the Cybertruck. And for the GMC, well the GMC is literally just a tank.
Thanks a lot, Elon, seems like your dreams might be coming true after all.